A repeat as well.
Dating In Rural China
http://www.6park.com/life2/messages/16141.html1. This is the most realistic and common dating routine you are ever going to see in the rural area. Romantic love is still beyond the reach of most young people in the countryside. More of them than not rely on match-makers to tie the knot. Early marriage is a very wide spread phenomenon. Let’s see how two young man and woman go through the process….
The match-maker (a party secretary of the village no less) Li Yong (meaning Lee Bravery) arrives with a 19 year old young man, Li Kai (meaning Lee Victory) (see red arrow) at about 10 a.m. Victory is bashful and has been working in Suzhou for a year after he graduated from the 9th grade. He has two brothers. He is mightily nervous about the first ever date of his life.
2. After a while the female protagonist’s sister (left) and a good girl friend arrive first to carry out the “examinationâ€. Wining the approval of relatives and friends is very important in the dating process, as the protagonists can rarely “examine†each other in great detail. Much of the impression is a collection of observations made by friends and relatives.
3. Many of the girl’s relatives and friends arrive, her parents, bosom friends, aunties both paternal and maternal, sisters-in-law, they must “have sight†of the boy. The match-maker’s family are busy helping the “examination party†with cigarettes and candies.
4. In the dating process, the boys are usually more or less passive. As long as a girl is happy with what she sees, a date has a 80% chance of taking off.
5. Victory reluctantly comes out to the open to be carefully examined by the “juryâ€. In the rural area, the scramble for partners starts as soon as a boy reaches 18 or 19. There is a fear that he might grow to be a “old big man†if the process is delayed. Most people are married by 20. It will not be an exaggeration to say they step out from adolescence right into adulthood in terms of physiological development, as the prime of youth will have never made its debut in their lives.
6. The female lead Ye Man (meaning Trailing Leaves) (see red arrow) appears. She is no more than 19 and like the boy, has been working in the city since graduation. This is a most common phenomenon in the rural area as higher education is beyond their grasp. The cycle is therefore – 9th grade graduation – work for a few years – get married – babies…..
7. Leafy is very pretty. As a matter of fact, pretty girls, as fresh as a blossoming lotus like her are many in the countryside. Regrettably few of them can go beyond the confines of their physical environment, stepping right into a marriage too early to take place at the beginning of their youth. They should be entitled to enjoy what life has to offer them like their counterparts in the cities, yet….
8. Leafy’s younger brother arrives as well (the one in orange jacket) and they murmured to each other a bit. The girl does not have a lot to say, perhaps she has already made up her mind.
Young girls like her do not really know which type of boys are suitable. They are not necessarily happy with this sort of “go see†dates, yet confined by their small circle of friends and physical environment, they have to yield to “dates†like this, surrendering their marital happiness entirely to the providence.
8. Leafy turns her back to the young man and listens to her brother. Victory seems to be waiting for the chance to meet her privately. If a girl is basically happy with what she sees, the match-maker will leave the boy and girl some private “meeting†time. A long while ago, a girl would be asking during these meetings questions like “How many siblings do you have?†and “How many mu of land?†As society develops, the questions have evolved to be “Where do you work?†and “How much do you make?†Usually a girl will take the initiative to ask.
9. Leafy’s father arrives at this point. All marriages must be approved by the father. Victory, nervous stiff as he is, fails to have the good sense to offer cigarettes as a gesture of respect. The first impression created on the father and the relatives is that this boy is not “know-stuff†(savvy, mature) enough. This failure dims the prospect of the date. At this point, should one or two blood relatives voice strong opposition, the date will be doomed to failure.
10. Leafy’s father is dumbfounded for a few minutes, then he mumbles something and turns away and leaves. It is quite obvious that he is not impressed with Victory.
(As the photos are not taken openly plus the quality of the camera is not that good, and the exposure is not properly attuned, the overall quality is far from satisfactory, I plea for your forgiveness!)
11. Leafy’s relatives and friends are giving the “negotiation†one last push . A life changing issue that affects a couple for the rest of their lives is nonetheless decided in a split second. The dating routine that has passed on for generations is very much alive in the 21st century.
How do we enable more farmers to receive better and higher education? How do we increase their exposure? Maybe these are what the society should concern itself with, because it is not a given that these people should stay where they are. There is every possibility that they can forge a better life for themselves!
12. Leafy’s family convey their idea to the match-maker. If the date were to bring about a wedding, the boy’s family will have to pay handsomely for it too, from RMB80,000 to over 100,000, for the cash-gift, the 2-storey building, 4 big-ticket items as well as a wedding banquet for family and friends. This is still the single biggest burden for those toiling in the rural area and getting a wife for the son is the biggest aspiration and life-long goal for many parents!
13. The jury is out. The match-maker relays the message to Victory and he leaves disappointed. He walks away not without regret.
As the girl’s side is not entirely happy with the boy, they do not get to meet in private. It is also regrettable that we do not get to take any pictures of the private meeting.
As the young people work in the cities all year round, “dating†and wedding peak during the Spring Festival. Many people of the “right age†will “date†or get married during this time.
“Right age†– the prime of youth after adolescence where adulthood and ignorance meet.
